Kill Ed Levine
Death by Sandwich
As a rule I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but that's me. If a foolish promise turns you on then fine. But as I sat down this evening to eat supper I happened to think of Ed Levine and his resolution to lose weight this year and found myself overcome with contrariness. "Bullshit!" I thought, and "la te da."
I've long harbored a grudge against Serious Eats. How dare they? I started publishing Seriously Good in 2003 and then this little upstart blog comes along and steals my good name? Sorta. Kinda. It's just not right that Serious Eats has a number of amusing writers working in concert to steal the word "serious" from me. And it seems to me that Ed Levine is behind it all. I don’t know if that's true — but I don't care. I'm holding him responsible.
It was a sandwich that prompted this psychic break — a simple grilled cheese sandwich. Simple yes, but by no means plebian. This sandwich began with a locally-baked Pan de Mie which provided an important sweet note. The cheese was Kraft Extra-sharp Cheddar, which I think is a perfect grilled cheese, smooth and tangy when melted and also unexceptual — leaving room for other flavors. Then I added paper-thin slices of pork confit, not enough to overpower the cheese or bread, simply a deep background note of pork and spice. Lastly I grilled the sandwich in duck fat -- making the flavor all sparkly. (I wish the photo showed the cheese, but the bread sucked it up like a sponge.) A small bowl of clam chowder on the side wound up the meal.
So, over the next 12 months I will tempt Mister Ed Levine with sandwiches. Sandwiches he, the fancy New Yorker, can’t possibly duplicate or, if he does, will be bad for his health. I, too, am risking my health in this culinary Russian Roulette, but I'm confident that I will prevail and at the end of 2008 we will see that Ed Levine really isn't that serious about eating — or sandwiches.
As a rule I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but that's me. If a foolish promise turns you on then fine. But as I sat down this evening to eat supper I happened to think of Ed Levine and his resolution to lose weight this year and found myself overcome with contrariness. "Bullshit!" I thought, and "la te da."
I've long harbored a grudge against Serious Eats. How dare they? I started publishing Seriously Good in 2003 and then this little upstart blog comes along and steals my good name? Sorta. Kinda. It's just not right that Serious Eats has a number of amusing writers working in concert to steal the word "serious" from me. And it seems to me that Ed Levine is behind it all. I don’t know if that's true — but I don't care. I'm holding him responsible.
It was a sandwich that prompted this psychic break — a simple grilled cheese sandwich. Simple yes, but by no means plebian. This sandwich began with a locally-baked Pan de Mie which provided an important sweet note. The cheese was Kraft Extra-sharp Cheddar, which I think is a perfect grilled cheese, smooth and tangy when melted and also unexceptual — leaving room for other flavors. Then I added paper-thin slices of pork confit, not enough to overpower the cheese or bread, simply a deep background note of pork and spice. Lastly I grilled the sandwich in duck fat -- making the flavor all sparkly. (I wish the photo showed the cheese, but the bread sucked it up like a sponge.) A small bowl of clam chowder on the side wound up the meal.
So, over the next 12 months I will tempt Mister Ed Levine with sandwiches. Sandwiches he, the fancy New Yorker, can’t possibly duplicate or, if he does, will be bad for his health. I, too, am risking my health in this culinary Russian Roulette, but I'm confident that I will prevail and at the end of 2008 we will see that Ed Levine really isn't that serious about eating — or sandwiches.
17 Comments:
Wow. Very nice. Duck fat, yum...I spent xmas eve rooting around Knox grocery stores looking for some for the mashed potatoes, and came up empty.
That sandwich will kick the bejesus out of anything Ed Levine makes. I love you (in a purely platonic, duck fat, confit kind of way).
TTM,
You have to make your own duck fat -- or buy it at HVFG. But the cool thing is that duck fat makes duck fat. Simmer three duck legs in 5 cups of fat and you end up with six cups of fat. Viola as they say! (You also get get duck goo, precipitated gelatins that will make you dance or consider killing Ed Levine.)
Vicki,
And I treasure your love in a purely platonic, duck fat, confit kind of way. I'll bet Ed never gets even Aristotelean duck fat, confit love. And without that, how good can his life possibly be? I feel sorry for him.
I just had a nice grilled cheese sandwich for lunch...no duck fat...now I'm craving...
Mrs. L,
Alas, any war involves some collateral damage. My sincere apologies.
Lol Kevin, I love the post, and I cannot wait to see the sandwiches to come.
Erika,
Ya know (using best Sylvester Stallone voice), I'm like working out. Had a turkey sandwich today -- but really thick with homemade mayo. Just training stuff. But that Levine guy is going down!
I don't think this is a rivalry worth risking your waistline over, Kevin. We all know the difference between your blog and that other blog, rest assured.
This sandwich sounds like a collision between Fannie Farmer and Fidel Castro. Personally, I think the duck fat is wasted on the Kraft product and would probably use something that speaks of the great chesses being made these days in the U.S. of A., ditto the bread, which to my mind should get more attention that the accompanying soup (nothing so complicated as a clam chowder with this sandwich, methinks).
Ed,
As usual, I beg to differ.{g}
First, I like that Kraft product, and a cheese like Grafton's 2-year-old cheddar shouldn't be mixed with anything except plain homemade white bread (not Pain de Mie) and sweet butter. In this case the duck fat is a great complement to the pork confit.
In this case Fannie and Fidel got along beautifully.
I can see that. Should we call d'Artagnan and let them know you're coming?
Ed,
Now that I have enough duck fat I'll go to my local producer for duck.
And Ed knows I'm coming.{g} Hell, the man is apparently terrified because he hasn't even responded to my threat. He's likely hiding under a bed munching on a raw carrot.
Oh yikes, Ed, watch out! Duck fat grilled sandwiches coming your way. Resistance is futile.
Elise,
Poor Ed. The man doesn't stand a chance. I'm even working on a dessert sandwich.
Local producer for duck? Do tell...
Ed,
This guy has everthing, beef, pork, chicken, turkey, rabbit, and duck. All pastured, albeit with supplemental food in the winter.
Ha! How on earth did I miss this?!? What a brilliant, undoubtedly wicked plan!
Shelly,
{bowing}
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